AITA? I send a newsletter on Mondays

not sure if this is ok? anyone have experience with this?

Hi!

Thanks for opening this email / reading this post.

me, when Substack adds a bunch of features I don’t understand or know how to use

No newsletter last week because I lost a bunch of subscribers and was feeling cranky/self-conscious/petty about sharing my GIFT with the world. Classic cutting off my nose to spite my face (iykyk!). But we must forge ahead, sending Substacks and putting one foot in front of the other, because that’s life baby!

• I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to send my spit to the founder of Google’s ex-wife to find out which kinds of white I am. Like, who could have predicted that would be a flawed operation, which is now floundering in typical dramatic Silicon Valley fashion?

• If you’ve ever met someone who is very passionate about doing cocaine, you’ve probably thought, “how can we get this guy more power and influence?” At least that’s what JD Vance did.

• The one thing keeping me earthbound is the unflattering frumpiness of your typical space suit. Luckily, Prada identified this market gap and is here to close it with their new designs.

• I’m rewatching Vanderpump Rules. Maybe I’m a biased, millennial, once-Angeleno, but - seeing these dirtbags treat each other horribly, sparring over sustenance at Madame Vanderpump’s proverbial teat, and ripping cigs in a West Hollywood alleyway? It don’t get much better than that. Brilliant critic Naomi Fry agrees with me and goes on a road trip through the current day Vanderpump landscape, in this fun read.

• I would criticize Malcolm Gladwell, the favorite author of people who hate reading, but it is actually my dream to pump out eight poorly researched and written books and make a billion dollars. If you don’t know why Gladwell sucks, this piece does a great job explaining it.

Tunes to start the week with:

I’ve never had much interest in the Spotify-generated playlists, but this Surf Rock Sunshine one is very cute. Lots of little bands I’ve never heard of doing their best Beach Boys impression. Good stuff before the wintery darkness consumes us :)

✨Bonus poem!✨

Paper Straw

I was once afforded the unimpeded joy 
of a morning iced coffee. A tiny crumb of pleasure 
in the burning world, stolen away from me
by the mealy, ineffective paper straw.

A woman on Facebook (or was it Instagram)
said to carry a metal, or glass, straw
on your person, arming yourself against uncaring 
cafés and sandwich shops who disregard the turtles. 

And, I do understand we love the turtles
(in the same way we loved the whales
back in the 90’s). But isn’t it childish
to have a favorite animal?

Even my blood is allowed to have plastic!
bobbing micro-buoys in my veins.
Blue recycling bin purgatory before trash heaven - 
garbage flotillas circling the planet until the end of time.

Surely, my convenience was not meant
to be interrupted. I’m as good as it gets!
Those paper straws are so sad to me. 
Useless is the worst thing you can be. 

xx