It's my day

I'm the president now

Hi!

Thanks for opening this email / reading this post.

me, reading about Trump every day, trying to decide if I should panic or stay cool

And here I am, spreading the news and ruining days:

• This shit is dark. One of El*n’s chief “DOGE” guys is heavily associated with a online Neo-nazi group that grooms children into sexual exploitation and suicide. TBH, if you have kids, maybe skip this one because it is so beyond fucked up. We are probably doomed.

• A palette cleanser.

• If you were feeling gaslit by the Dems all last year while they crowed how stable and happy Americans were under Biden, this read is cathartic.

• Very enlightening read on the man who’s quote, “first they came for…” apparently is super misunderstood. Par for the course.

• THEN FUCKING DO IT! Jk, kinda, but in all seriousness, Americans are like one podcast away from gender-essentialisming themselves into the most regressive society in history. From incel dudes mega-dosing sexism, blaming women for a world they created for their own benefit, to women saying they would rather fight a bear than be around a man (girls, I love you, I see you, but you need to at least run the mile in gym class before having an imaginary brawl with a two-ton predator). Men have the capacity to be terrible, but so do I! That’s humanity, baby! Being afraid of all men is corny and a stone’s throw from being a TERF (ew). Hating women because of the way the patriarchy has disenfranchised you is straight up dumb as hell. Men don’t need to be heroes, a childish ideal rooted in individualism, but they do need a group chat. We all have work to do and if we’re splitting the class project into girls v. boys it’s going to take WAY longer to finish it.

• Twin panda cubs 🥹

Tunes/vibes to start the week with:

I am not a doctor, but if I had a patient who was sick with sadness I would prescribe dancing around the house. I’ve been doing this for the past month. First, in a vain effort to improve my cardio health, but now it has morphed into a bit of a lifeline! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that sometimes doing the most embarassing thing possible can bring you the most joy. So - I made a playlist, put on my headphones, and shake my ass for no less than 30 mins a day. Sometimes I’ll play Just Dance (which is nerdy beyond words and activates the competitive synapses formed years ago at Miss Tami’s Dance Connection) but most of the time it’s simply this playlist and me.

And a poem! I can’t shut up day.

“Inauguration”

The audacity
to ask me to hate America,
when my red Coke can ashtray
is framed beautifully 
by the cowboy blue sky.
I was raised by this disgusting beast,
pugnacious and stupid
and greedy for what’s mine.
My rights God-given 
and intangible, my brain
swollen from greatness,
my chest puffed, bovine.

I’m not a good American - 
a golden toilet clogged 
with advertisements, 
eyes scanning for death
around every corner. 
But, I do look at the horizon
becoming queasy, powerful
from its vastness. 

The butter-mouthed goons
won’t get me down.
I learned how to tap dance
and tell jokes here.
Besides, there is too much
culture in Europe.
I’m glued to the couch
watching everyone die.

I can’t hate America.
The fetid rot
will somehow bear fruit.
Allen is here, with the rest
of my friends. 
The tree I planted
in the backyard
when I was seven,
choked by fallen pine needles,
barely able to take root.

xx